Here's Why (And It's Not What You Think)

You're not failing because you don't love each other enough.

You're not failing because you're lazy or broken or incompatible.

You're failing because you're trying to fix symptoms while the system underneath keeps pulling you back to the same old dance.

"Fight less" doesn't work when you haven't learned how to repair when things get heated. "Have more sex" falls flat when emotional safety is still missing. "Spend more time together" feels hollow when you're together physically and yet miles apart emotionally.

The resolution isn't the problem. The approach is.

The Shift from "Fixing Your Relationship" to "Building Your Relationship"

This can be one partner stepping in. It can be both of you together. It can be each of you holding your own resolution to work with.

Choose what fits:

• "This year, I'm choosing to learn to repair faster instead of trying to fight less."
• "We're choosing to speak the truth with kindness instead of communicating better."
• "My relationship resolution is to rebuild emotional safety first before expecting more intimacy."
• "In 2026, we're practicing being present when we're together instead of just spending more time together."

Pick one. Write it down. Make it yours.

What Actually Changes Relationships

Research is clear on this: couples who sustain real change don't rely on willpower alone.

They build structure. They get support. They learn the skills their nervous systems need to stay regulated when old patterns try to take over.

They stop working on surface-level fixes and start rewriting the unspoken rules that have been running the show all along.

That's not theory. That's how change actually happens in a living relationship.

The Couples Who Make It

Over the years, I've watched couples transform their relationships—not because they made better resolutions, they created a different foundation.

They stopped avoiding the hard conversations and learned how to have them with respect and repair. They stopped keeping score and started building a team. They stopped waiting for their partner to change first and stepped into their own power to shift the dynamic.

The couples who make it aren't perfect. They're committed to doing the work that matters.

What's Possible for You in 2026

If you're reading this and thinking, "We want more than we have right now," you're exactly where change begins.

Maybe you've been coasting. Maybe you've been fighting. Maybe you've just been surviving and you're ready to start thriving again.

Whatever your story, you don't have to DIY your way through another year of the same cycles.

We're here. Sessions are open again, and we're ready to help you build the connection you're longing for—whether that's in our one-on-one work together or in a deeper, more intensive format.

Something Different This February

If you're tired of resolutions that fade and you want to do something that actually sticks, we're hosting Rewriting the Rules: The Couples Workshop on February 12-14, 2026 in Red Deer.

This isn't counselling. It's not a retreat. It's a working workshop where you'll discover the hidden rules driving your conflicts, practice real skills for connection and repair, and build new agreements that actually hold.

Three days. Real work. Real change.

Space is limited because the work we do together requires focus and intention. If you're ready to invest in your relationship at a deeper level, this is your invitation.

Learn more and register: rtrworkshop.com

No Pressure. Just Possibility.

You don't have to have it all figured out tonight.

You don't have to make grand declarations or promises you're not sure you can keep.

What you can do is acknowledge that you want something different. That's enough to start.

Whether it's booking a session, registering for the workshop, or simply reaching out to say "we need help," we're here for you.

Rick Martin, RLT
RLT Marriage Counselling
Alberta's only RLT specialist working exclusively with couples

P.S. If you're reading this and thinking "I'm not sure we're ready," that's normal. Reach out anyway. Sometimes the hardest part is just taking the first step. We'll help you figure out what makes sense for where you are.