Rick Martin | RLT Marriage Counselling

My story: why I do this work

I’I’ve lived stepfamily life for almost five decades.

I was 19 when I married a woman with two boys. I adopted them. We built a family. We did hockey runs, late‑night talks, and the daily grind. That marriage lasted 22 years. When the house went quiet and became an empty nest, I left. I didn’t yet know how to face the loneliness or the patterns sitting under my “I’m fine.”

My second relationship was also a stepfamily. Two boys again, about the same ages as the first time. Their dad was very involved. We tried to blend two homes and two sets of rules. It was tender and tense. That relationship lasted 10 years. I could lead at work, but I struggled to soften at home. I was quick to fix and slow to feel. I didn’t know how to repair when I blew it.

Sixteen years ago, I met my current partner, Edna. She has two adult children with families of their own. We made a different kind of commitment to each other and to this work. We joke that we eat, breathe, and sleep Relational Life Therapy. It’s not just book learning. It’s daily practice.

With Edna, I learned to slow my nervous system. To own my part. To make real repairs without blame or shame. To set boundaries without punishment. To bring warmth back after a fight. We still have tension at times, like most couples do. The difference now is the skill of coming back into repair. We know how to come back to each other.

One of the most meaningful parts of our life is hearing from the adult kids and the grandkids. They tell us they’re watching. They see how we speak to each other. They see how we repair. They use the same tools in their own homes. That matters to me. Because families heal forward.

I’m the last of six kids, born at the tail end of the Boom generation. Our home was full, busy, and loud. I learned early to be independent, to keep the peace, and to say “I’m okay” when I wasn’t. Those skills helped me survive. They did not help me love.

This work is personal. When I sit with you, you’re not getting theory. You’re getting lived experience, hard‑won humility, and clear tools that change how you relate. I’ve made the mistakes. I’ve learned how to repair. I can help you do it faster.

When your relationship is on the line

Right now you may be:

• Arguing about the same thing on repeat
• Numb, shut down, or living like roommates
• Reeling after an affair or breach of trust
• Unsure whether to stay or go
• In a blended family that feels like a minefield

You don’t need a long intake. You need a plan.

“Most couples I work with have a clear sense of the pattern,
and a first repair roadmap, by session 2–3."

What working together looks like

In our session we will:

• Map the pattern: what you do, what your partner does, how it loops
• Nervous system skills: slow reactivity, speak truth without harm
• Repair scripts: how to make a real repair and mean it
• Boundaries and agreements: clear, doable, trackable
• Practice in session: you’ll feel the difference in the room

Most couples see a shift in 4–6 sessions.

Services I Offer

• Couples and Marriage Counselling
• Relationship 911: Couples Intensive (half or full day)
• Pre‑Marital Road Map
• Stepfamily and Blended Family Support
• Conscious Uncoupling
• Relationship Support for Singles
• Online across Alberta | Day, evening, weekend

All sessions are online across Alberta, with day, evening, and weekend options.
You also have access to brief follow‑up support between sessions when things flare up.

Why RLT with me

• 25+ years in behavioural training and safety
• Certified Relational Life Therapy practitioner
• Direct, compassionate, results‑focused
• Trauma‑informed, somatic‑aware, plain language
• Alberta‑based; online care that fits real life

“We reduce blow‑ups and increase real repairs within weeks
when both partners are willing to show up and do the work.”