Rick Martin - Marriage Counsellor in Red Deer Using Relational Life Therapy

Relationship support that cuts through the noise

My Story: Why I Do This Work


I've lived stepfamily life for almost five decades.


I was 19 when I married a woman with two boys. I adopted them. We built a family. We did hockey runs, late‑night talks, and the daily grind. That marriage lasted 22 years. When the house went quiet and became an empty nest, I left. I didn’t yet know how to face the loneliness or the patterns sitting under my “I’m fine.”


My second relationship was also a stepfamily. Two boys again, about the same ages as the first time. Their dad was very involved. We tried to blend two homes and two sets of rules. It was tender and tense. That relationship lasted 10 years. I could lead at work, but I struggled to soften at home. I was quick to fix and slow to feel. I didn’t know how to repair when I blew it.


Sixteen years ago, I met my current partner, Edna. She has two adult children with families of their own. We made a different kind of commitment to each other and to this work. We joke that we eat, breathe, and sleep Relational Life Therapy. It’s not just book learning. It’s daily practice.


With Edna, I learned to slow my nervous system. To own my part. To make real repairs without blame or shame. To set boundaries without punishment. To bring warmth back after a fight. We still have tension at times, like most couples do. The difference now is the skill of coming back into repair. We know how to come back to each other.


One of the most meaningful parts of our life is hearing from the adult kids and the grandkids. They tell us they’re watching. They see how we speak to each other. They see how we repair. They use the same tools in their own homes. That matters to me. Because families heal forward.


I’m the last of six kids, born at the tail end of the Boom generation. Our home was full, busy, and loud. I learned early to be independent, to keep the peace, and to say “I’m okay” when I wasn’t. Those skills helped me survive. They did not help me love.


This work is personal. When I sit with you, you’re not getting theory. You’re getting lived experience, hard‑won humility, and clear tools that change how you relate. I’ve made the mistakes. I’ve learned how to repair. I can help you do it faster.


When Your Relationship Is on the Line

Right now you may be:

  • Arguing about the same thing on repeat
  • Numb, shut down, or living like roommates
  • Reeling after an affair or breach of trust
  • Unsure whether to stay or go
  • In a blended family that feels like a minefield


You don’t need a long intake. You need a plan.


“Most couples I work with have a clear sense of the pattern,
and a first repair roadmap, by session 2–3."


What Working Together Looks Like

In our session we will:

  • Map the pattern: what you do, what your partner does, how it loops
  • Nervous system skills: slow reactivity, speak truth without harm
  • Repair scripts: how to make a real repair and mean it
  • Boundaries and agreements: clear, doable, trackable
  • Practice in session: you’ll feel the difference in the room


Most couples see a shift in 4–6 sessions.


Services I Offer


Why Relational Life Therapy - and Why Me

  • 25+ years in behavioural training and safety
  • Certified Relational Life Therapy practitioner
  • Direct, compassionate, results‑focused
  • Trauma‑informed, somatic‑aware, plain language
  • Alberta‑based; online sessions Monday to Saturday across Alberta and in‑person sessions in Red Deer on Mondays and Thursdays.


“We reduce blow‑ups and increase real repairs within weeks
when both partners are willing to show up and do the work.”


Questions About Working Together


Q1: What is Relational Life Therapy?


A: Relational Life Therapy (RLT) is an approach to couples counselling that focuses on how you and your partner communicate, connect, and navigate conflict. Rather than trying to "fix" your relationship, RLT helps you understand the patterns that are keeping you stuck and gives you tools to move forward - whether that means reconnecting, rebuilding trust, or making a conscious decision about what comes next.


Q2: How is RLT different from other couples therapy approaches?


A: RLT emphasizes the relationship itself as the unit of change, not individual problems or blame. It is practical, direct, and focused on real conversations you can have with your partner. Many couples find it refreshing because it does not require years of therapy - it is designed to create meaningful shifts in weeks or months.


Q3: Do I need my partner to come to the first session?


A: No. Many people come to an intro call alone to explore whether couples counselling is right for them, or to decide if RLT is the right fit. If you decide to move forward, both partners will attend sessions together. But the first conversation is just between you and me.


Q4: How long does couples counselling typically take?


A: It depends on what you are working on and how ready both partners are to engage. Some couples see meaningful progress in 6-8 sessions. Others work together for 3-4 months. We will set realistic expectations in your first session and adjust as needed. The goal is to get you to a place where you have the tools to move forward on your own.


Q5: Can we do sessions online, or do we need to meet in person?


A: Both. I offer online sessions across Alberta via Zoom, which works well for most couples. I also offer in-person sessions in Red Deer on Mondays and Thursdays. You can mix and match - some sessions online, some in person - whatever works best for your schedule.


Q6: What if we decide we want to separate or break up?


A: That is a valid outcome, and it is okay. If you and your partner decide that separation is the right choice, I can help you navigate that conversation and the transition thoughtfully - what I call "Conscious Uncoupling." The goal is to end the relationship with clarity, respect, and minimal harm to each other and any children involved.

This work only matters if it works for you. Learn who I am, how I show up, and what makes this differentand then decide if we’re the right fit.